There are extra challenges that not everyone is ready to handle when they become a young parent. One mom asked Redditors for help because she wasn’t sure if she was right to tell her teenage daughter that she wouldn’t help raise the baby.

A mother talked about her hard situation.

Rose, my daughter who is 19 years old, has always been smart. She did really well in school and got a full scholarship to a great college nearby. She has been living with me and doing well in school.

She began dating a new guy a few months ago, and I don’t like him. He always breaks her trust, but he hides it with big smiles and big promises. They’re still together even though I told them not to, and now she’s pregnant. I told her I would pay for her abortion and not work for a few days to help her through it.

She said no. She changed her mind and is now going to marry her boyfriend. They are going to be a big happy family. She wants him to move in with me, and she’s going to quit school while he works to cover the bills. He works as a bartender and doesn’t go to college. She got very angry when I laughed at the thought.

She told me I’ll have to take more care of the baby since he can’t move in. I really don’t get where all this is coming from; she’s always been so sensible. If she thought she was old enough to get married, have a child, and raise it, I told her straight out that she should move out and be an adult with the child’s father.

I raised the one child I set out to raise. It would be too hard for me to handle having another child live with me. I told her I’d help by buying diapers for her sometimes and still going to see her, but this baby is not my job. Not likely, but if she does decide to adopt, I’d be happy to help her through the process.

Now she won’t talk to me. The man she lives with, my husband, is staying out of it because he thinks I could help her more. He might want to go over and babysit for her, so I told him he could. That was the end of the conversation.

I also had my daughter when I was 19. Her dad was in the military, and I was married to him. Even with everything, I graduated from college at age 22. Things went well for us until he died in battle. I believe that my life experiences are affecting the choices she makes, even though hers are very different. Her boyfriend can’t even get her or the baby health insurance.

I don’t want a child in my house, and I’m not going to watch them. I will do the normal grandparent things, like go to birthday parties and buy gifts, but that’s all.

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