When Disabilities Are Invisible: The Guilt of Not Giving Up a Seat

Public transportation often leads to arguments, especially about who should give up their seat. Recently, a story went viral about an elderly woman demanding a girl with a prosthetic leg to give up her seat, saying she wasn’t “disabled enough.” Here’s what happened.

The girl explained: “A few years ago, I lost my left leg in an accident. I’ve been using a prosthetic leg since then. It’s a really advanced one, so when I wear long pants, it just looks like I have two normal legs. I usually wear long pants because I feel uncomfortable showing my prosthetic.

Now, I can do most things, like walking, running, and going upstairs. My main problem is keeping my balance on trains and buses when they move suddenly, which brings me to this story.

“I was on the train and sitting in a seat reserved for disabled, elderly, and pregnant people. It was crowded, so no other seats were free. After a few stops, a woman told me to move because she needed the seat, and I shouldn’t be sitting there.

I told her I was sorry, but I needed the seat too. She got mad and said I should get up because the seat was for elderly people, and I was just a lazy kid who could stand.

“I apologized again and said I really needed the seat. She left and brought back the train conductor, who also told me to move. At this point, I was tired of being treated this way, so I rolled up my pant leg, showed my prosthetic, and told them I wasn’t moving.

The woman turned red and mumbled something before getting off at the next station.

Did I handle it wrong? I could’ve said I had a prosthetic right away, but it’s a sensitive topic for me, and it makes me feel really self-conscious. That’s why I always wear long pants, so no one sees or knows.

Turns out, many disabled people face the same issue when in public places. Here are some of the responses the girl got:
My husband had a disability that when he’s sitting down he looks normal. Stand up with 2 crutches and you can see what’s wrong. He had been insulted parking in disabled parking, on trains sitting in the priority seats for the elderly and disabled.
All he has to do is stand up and they always either say sorry or mumble and walk away. It’s bad that you have to prove you are disabled before cantankerous fools believe you.

I’ve had multiple surgeries on my legs and ankles and if I haven’t been walking recently, then it doesn’t look like I’m disabled at all because they don’t hurt. When I go grocery shopping, and I’m standing up for a long I start limping really bad, and I’m in severe pain so parking and going into the store I don’t look disabled at all. I have been insulted so much for parking handicap spots.

It’s sad that people double down and get defensive when they’re caught out or embarrassed when they could much more easily say “oh my, so sorry to have bothered you!” and move on.

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