When years of lies and cheating have been used to build a marriage, can it really last? Building a relationship on trust is essential, and when it breaks, the effects can be terrible, making us question the realness of the connection we thought we had. Imagine how terrible it would be to find out that the person you’ve spent your whole life with has been lying and keeping secrets from you that make your relationship fall apart.
“My husband David (35M) and I have been married for 6 years.” Bud is our seven-year-old dog that David got for us right after we got married.
Our dog got lost in our fenced-in backyard two months ago. My husband was upset and looked for hours and put up signs saying “Lost Dog.” He told her he had run away after a few weeks. I thought he just needed some time to deal with the loss of his pet.
Jen, David’s ex-girlfriend, called me last night in a strange way. The moment I told her I was Mrs. Johnson, she told me a crazy story. David took Jen’s dog Buddy to “teach her a lesson” about how much Buddy meant to her after they broke up badly. David had told me for six years that Buddy was his dog before I bought it.
Jen said that when she found out we had her dog, she told David to give Buddy back or she would report him for dog theft. So David recently made up the whole “Buddy ran away” story to get Buddy back to his owner without telling me the truth.
David lied and stole Buddy six years ago, and I blew up at him when he got home. He first said it wasn’t true, but I told him everything Jen said. He finally said it: he stole the dog from her as revenge after they broke up badly. He said that he had always planned to go back to Buddy one day to “heal that wound” from their relationship.
This long-running lie made me feel sick to my stomach. He got close to me by pretending to have a dog that he stole from his ex. Then they lied again, saying they had lost Buddy instead of telling the truth that Jen wanted her dog back.
David tried to say that he did it to get back at Jen for how she treated him, but I don’t believe that at all. People don’t let you steal their pet, lie about it for years, and then lie again instead of making things right. His actions were bad and can’t be forgiven. I love animals and Buddy, but I can’t stand it when my husband lies and cheats on me like that.
I told him to go stay with family or friends for now. Then I made plans to meet Jen at a park to give Buddy back to his real owner. Jen was so happy to get her pet back, and she even paid the fee I asked for because David had lied to me about him all these years.
Now I’m just trying to deal with how David’s huge lies and selfishness hit me so hard. Some part of me will always wonder what else he’s kept from me. I’m really thinking about getting a divorce because of this because it’s clear he can be shockingly dishonest and mean. My husband has lost my trust, and I’m not sure if I ever really knew him.
Do you think I went too far when I kicked out my husband as soon as his ex-wife found out he had been lying for years about stealing her dog? Did I overreact when I took Buddy away from him and set up for Jen to get her real pet back that David stole from her years ago? I don’t understand what he’s doing and feel betrayed by everything he’s done here.
