A 43-year-old woman wrote to us to share a story she can’t tell anyone else because she fears being judged. She fell in love with her son’s best friend, and now her relationship with her son is very bad. For the last 4 years, she hasn’t been able to mend things with him, and their recent meeting left her feeling upset.

Anna, the woman who wrote to us, started her letter by saying, “I feel that I’ll be judged. But I’m writing to ask for advice on how to fix this situation.”

She had her only son when she was 21. Her husband and Nick’s father passed away 2 years after Nick was born, so it was just Anna and her son against the world.

Anna admitted she hasn’t had much luck with dating. She went on a few random dates and had a couple of short relationships while raising her son.

One day, everything changed when her son introduced her to his best friend.

Anna wrote that things were normal until her son brought his friend home. She said, “At the beginning of Nick’s senior year, he brought Max, his best friend, to our house. After that, Max came over almost every other weekend. I was really happy because Nick didn’t have many friends and usually kept to himself.”

She admitted she liked Max and thought he was a nice and friendly guy. They had short conversations when he visited.

Then she wrote, “We exchanged numbers just in case. He started sending me messages and jokes, and I replied. Nick didn’t mind, and it seemed normal to him.”

After 6 months of visiting, Max texted Anna to say he wanted to meet for coffee. This message surprised her, and she asked if it was urgent or about Nick. Max said it was important, so Anna agreed to meet him.

Anna continues her story, describing her first meeting with her son’s friend. She wrote, “When we met, he seemed very nervous. I asked him why he wanted to meet. He first asked me not to tell my son. Then he said he had feelings for me. I was shocked. I told him I was flattered, but I had to think about Nick. He asked me to give him a chance.”

Anna felt unsure but finally decided to go for it because she wanted to feel loved. She wrote, “It had been so long since someone was interested in me like this. Max was 18 and very handsome. I agreed to start dating him, but I said it had to be casual and Nick shouldn’t know.”

The couple met the following week at Max’s place. Anna lied to Nick, saying she was meeting her colleagues.

They started meeting often, and Anna fell in love with Max. He made her very happy, and she found herself wanting the weekend to come faster just to be with him. She began to ignore other parts of her life.

When Nick was getting ready to go to college, Anna received a message from Max saying that Nick knew everything about them. She got the message while at work.

Anna was scared to go home. When she finally did and saw Nick, he barely said anything about the situation. He was very cold to her. When she dropped him off at the airport, he didn’t hug her or even look back as he left.

It’s been 4 years now. Max and Anna have a 1-year-old daughter, and Max works as an engineer. The airport was the last time Anna saw Nick. He blocked her on his phone and all social media.

Anna asked her late husband’s parents if Nick had contacted them. Nick’s grandfather told her that Nick had shared her story with them and promised to take care of him. But Nick’s grandparents were angry with Anna and asked her not to reach out to them or Nick.

Just when Anna had given up hope of seeing Nick again, he called her. They agreed to meet and talk.

During their meeting, Nick told her that he never had a problem with her dating someone. In fact, he hoped she would find love. He realized his mom needed companionship and a type of love he couldn’t give as her son. However, he felt conflicted because both Max and his mom deserved to be happy.

Nick admitted he struggled with some things. He couldn’t understand why his mom didn’t consider him when starting a relationship. It hurt him to realize that Anna would choose a romantic relationship over their close bond.

At the end of their meeting, Nick said he now has a wife and her family, and they are his new family. He just wanted to see his mom before cutting ties for good. He asked Anna not to contact him or his family anymore. He made it clear that he wouldn’t be there for her in her old age or even attend her funeral.

We thank Anna for sharing her complex and emotional story. We advise her not to see the situation as a complete failure and to look for ways to win her son back.

She could ask her husband Max to help since he used to be friends with Nick. Max might understand Nick’s feelings better than Anna does.

Max could act as a mediator and help Anna reconnect with Nick. We believe Anna should involve people important to Nick and ask for their help.