It’s great when your partner not only remembers your special days but also treats them with care and respect. Emilia, 38, doesn’t have that experience with her husband of 15 years. She wrote to share how her husband chose to ignore her birthday and attend his coworker’s party instead. Despite the hurt, Emilia’s revenge was clever, and she shared the details with us.

Emilia told us about her situation. Some people in her life think she made a big deal out of nothing, but her close family and friends fully support her. Now, Emilia wants to hear more opinions.
She wrote, “Hi, I’m Emilia, 38, and my husband Adam is 45. We’ve been married for over 15 years, and I never imagined that our relationship would be shaken by such disrespect from him. I always thought we had a good marriage with respect, empathy, and support. I was wrong.”

She continues, “I was 37 when it all started, and my 38th birthday was coming up. The last 2 years were tough – I had serious health problems, and my mom passed away when I was 36. I didn’t feel like celebrating my last two birthdays.”

“After all that, I finally felt ready for joy again. I decided to plan a big birthday party with family and friends. I was excited and had been planning for months. I thought Adam felt the same, but I was wrong.”

“My husband’s ‘work wife,’ Denise, was celebrating her birthday on the same day. She invited Adam but didn’t mention me. Then, my husband told me something that deeply hurt me. He said, ‘Her birthday is more important than yours because she’s turning 35, which is a bigger deal than your 38th. I’ll go to her party, and I hope you respect my decision. When you turn 40, I’ll celebrate with you, I promise.

Emilia tried to explain to Adam how important the birthday party was for her. She wanted him to celebrate with her and share this special moment of her ‘return to life’, but he refused.

Adam explained that Denise was throwing a big themed party with all their colleagues. He and Denise were very close at work, and it would be a huge shock for her if he didn’t show up for her milestone birthday. Their boss was also going to be there, and Adam knew he was planning something special for both of them since they worked closely together. He couldn’t miss the event and expected Emilia to understand.

The choice left Emilia shocked and deeply saddened. After 15 years of marriage, she had expected love and respect from him, but instead, Adam chose to be a good ‘work husband’ rather than a supportive real husband. It hurt, but she smiled and acted like everything was fine, deciding not to argue with him. She accepted that she would spend her party without her husband by her side.

On her birthday, Emilia hosted her party at home while Adam went to Denise’s party. Later in the evening, she sent him a message asking him not to come home because ‘his place was taken’. Adam panicked and called her about 20 times, but she didn’t answer. He eventually left Denise’s party and rushed home. When he arrived, she greeted him with a smile, as if nothing was wrong. In front of all the guests, she calmly told him that he was no longer her husband.

She explained that she wasn’t filing for divorce, but they were only a couple on paper and in their social media posts. Adam wasn’t her husband in reality, and she no longer saw him as her partner who would make choices in her favor. She respected his decision to attend his work wife’s event but expected him to respect her choices too.

Then, she pointed to one of the guests, Derek, one of Adam’s best friends. Derek had been helping her with her startup and her small business, offering the support that Adam had failed to give. Emilia introduced Derek as her ‘work husband’, since they had been working closely together. She told Adam that Derek had taken his place, coming to her party and doing what a husband should have done. Emilia also mentioned that she had bought a trip for her birthday and invited Derek to join her. It wasn’t personal; she simply enjoyed Derek’s company more than Adam’s.

Adam was furious, slammed the door, and left. Emilia hasn’t heard from him in over two weeks. Recently, her mother-in-law informed her that Adam was filing for divorce because he felt humiliated. Now, Emilia is left wondering if she was wrong to teach her husband such a harsh lesson.