I’m a 29-year-old woman from England, living in Italy with my fiancé Marco, who is 37, and our 5-month-old daughter, Willow. I moved to Italy after finishing medical school, where I met Marco, and now I’m a doctor in training at a hospital.

My dad left my mom and me when I was young and has never really been around. He married Tammy, who never liked me and couldn’t have kids.

When Willow was born, my mom’s family came to visit us and help. But my dad and Tammy didn’t come. Two weeks ago, they suddenly showed up, saying they were ‘on vacation nearby’ and wanted to meet Willow.

Willow was a bit fussy, so I breastfed her. Tammy then said I would need to stop breastfeeding soon. I was confused and asked why. She said I couldn’t keep doing it when Willow is with them. I didn’t understand what she meant, so I asked her again. She then showed me pictures of a baby room she had set up and said we should share custody of Willow. She told me not to worry because she was ready for it.

I was shocked, but she kept talking. She said the age difference between me and Marco was bad for Willow, and that it was clear I needed help. She also said I was more focused on work than being at home with Willow, so I should just let her take care of her. But since Tammy can’t breastfeed, we would have to stop that now.

I told her she must be joking if she thought I would give her my baby. She told me to calm down and said she wasn’t asking for full custody, just that Willow would live with her in a calmer, more stable home. She said I could visit and that she deserved this.

Marco made them leave and checked on Willow and me. Since then, I’ve felt really uncomfortable. My dad has been texting me, saying I need to let Tammy show she can be a good caregiver. Tammy has been sending pictures of the baby room she made.

Just to be clear, I live in Italy, but Tammy doesn’t. They flew here. My dad isn’t on my birth certificate, so I don’t think he has any legal rights as a grandparent. If something happens to us, my mom is Willow’s legal guardian according to our will, and Willow goes to the daycare at the hospital where we both work.